The leper colony was starving so I loaded my catapult with hot dogs and was ready to toss them food. My European friend had the same idea but he called the hot dogs by their European name as used a Trebuchet.
Nice, it must be Santa Claus. Sticking with the seasonal theme:
A family member recently obtained an old piano. She thought of removing the dark keys by yanking a screw put into the wood, but someone said, "The ebonies her screw jerks out will likely be splintered and useless."
At the county fair Jeff and Ann, the judges, would rank the pig stys from best to worst. One year I entered my ant sty and everyone thought it was almost the best. The newspaper headline reported (Are you ready for this?)
Two soldiers relaxes by a large tree when their sergeant comes running. "We're going to the front!" he shouts. "Who, us?" asks one of the soldiers. "Yes, us!" cries the sergeant. And the sarge and his men marches off to war.
I hope the cheeky scumbags hanging around the traffic lights aren't going to squeegie my car today, and then beg for money like they do every other day.
As the family stabbed each other with cutlery around the Christmas dinner table, noticing that his daughter was drawing the most blood, Mr. Rand stated "I'll bet Ayn's tines are sharper than anyone else's".
Okay, these fit as a pair, so I hope it's okay to share them both (one name in each quote)
Jake and Linus met Frank at a rockin' oldies concert. Jake asked, "How long have you been jammin', Frank? Linus and I just arrived."
Frank related what they had missed: "A short while ago, a backup singer tripped on a cord, clashed on all drums, fell down, but recovered without missing a note."
Helen the Goth sat at home, depressed, wearing dismal black, and playing her gloomy cello. Bam! An absurd idea struck her - she could cheer the heck up, and play jolly music instead.
We were looking for adventure as we approached the great reef. But which to choose? The one inhabited by savages or the one inhabited by friendlies. I said to my men "Shall we head to the heathen reef or do the safe thing?"
What was the answer to this one? I guess I missed it.
I hope the cheeky scumbags hanging around the traffic lights arenât going to squeegie my car today, and then beg for money like they do every other day.
The aging actor auditioned for a part way too young for him. The casting director yelled at him. "You are a has-been. Half lacking in any talent whatsoever!"
Jim tried to get his girlfriend to go to the nude beach with him. She retorted "Lay nude on a sand bar? Bare ass? Try sand in your crotch all day!"